


Me Too

by DontGetTooCloseItsDarkInside



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M, Pining, momo is a sweet angel who doesnt want his senpai to be sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 19:30:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2162373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontGetTooCloseItsDarkInside/pseuds/DontGetTooCloseItsDarkInside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted Rin to want him the way he wanted Rin.</p><p>And wasn’t that the most pathetic thing ever?</p><p>Yes, yes it was</p>
            </blockquote>





	Me Too

“Senpai-are you alright?” Momo asked, his head coming into view over Nitori’s head. He had been staring at the top of his former bunk, tears burning at the corner of his eyes, but he gathered his wits quickly and swallowed, trying to look like he wasn’t about to cry.

 

“I’m fine, Momotaro-kun.” He said softly, rolling on his side so he was facing the wall and Momotaro couldn’t see his face. He knew it was rude, but he didn’t want to risk the boy seeing him in such a state of upset.

 

“Are you sure?” he orange haired boy said softly, kindly. He reminded Nitori of his brother when he spoke in that soft voice, but he knew in almost every other way they were different. Manly that if Mikoshiba-Senpai was the one here instead of his little brother he would have understood.  He was the only one who knew how he felt. And he wanted to keep it that way.

 

“Yes, Momotaro.” He said softly, as the first tear trickled down his cheek. He wiped at it quickly so it wouldn’t fall onto Rin’s old pillow.

 

“You can call me Momo!” Momotaro reminded him for the tenth time quickly from above. “That’s what my brother calls me!” he added, as if feeling a need to defend his nickname.

 

Nitori smiled in despite of himself, despite the pain running threw his heart like a stab wound. “Alright,” he whispered and then pulled the cover over his head, hiding his face and the tears that covered it. He heard Momo shifting around above him as he shoved his fist in his mouth to stiffle his sobs, his whole body shook and he was struck with the terrible truth that Momo knew what he was doing and had decided to pretend he didn’t. That just made him cry harder.

 

He awoke early the next morning with a massive headache and his eyes burning with the salty tears that had long since settled there and dried after he fell asleep.  It was still dark outside, but his clock said it was only a half hour until his usual alarm went off. And anyways, his clock was set much earlier than most peoples, so it wasn’t like he didn’t have time.

 

 So he decided to get up, he stripped himself of the clothes he had fallen asleep in and slipped on his jammers and his swim jacket. He made sure his alarm was still set so Momo would wake up in time to shower, eat and get to class. He picked up his swim bag and added his clothes for the day, deciding he would just shower at the locker room. 

Ever since they had lost the relay because of him he had started putting in some extra time. Either before or after the regular practices. It was quite easy to slip into the pool, even though he knew it was supposed to be closed. He also knew it was dangerous to swim alone, because he could hit his head or get a cramp, but it didn’t care.

 

He wanted to shed at least twenty seconds off his time, that was for sure.

 

He also wanted…he wanted…well he wasn’t sure what he wanted. Or at least he wouldn’t admit to what he knew he wanted. Besides, it was stupid and unattainable anyways.

…

When Rin left to room with Sosuke, he remembered someone asking him if he wanted new sheets to put on the bed. He said no. They asked if he wanted them washed. He said he did, but he would do it himself. He didn’t. He could swear some sent of Rin’s still clung to the bed-to the rest of the room as well. Or at least he pretended. He would ask Momo if it was just him…but he was pretty sure the boy didn’t go around sniffing the Captain. Not that Nitori ever had. He had simply noticed.

 

Pool water, sharp cinnamon, something that was sour but smelled nice, stuff that just made Rin _Rin_ but didn’t really have a name. Charred wood,  the wind that lingered on the beach, so many different smells that just made one. Rin’s smell. He swore it was on his pillow, his jacket, the chair he now used, as he had given his desk to Momo and started using Rin’s.

 

Everything reminded him of Rin. He couldn’t escape his senpai, no matter how much he tried. Nor could he escape his feelings.

 

He wanted Rin to come by and visit in their old room. Sit with him on the bed. Explain English to him when he didn’t understand. Chide him about keeping his desk clean.

 

He wanted Rin to think of him as a good, talented swimmer.  He wanted Rin to beam at him when he climbed out of the pool. To call out his time improvement with a smile, even if it was meager.

 

He wanted Rin to be proud to have him on his team. He wanted him to brag about his little roommate during into one of the best breaststroke swimmers Samezuka had ever had. (even if it really hadn’t happened yet. He would make it happen.)

 

He wanted Rin’s face to brighten when he saw him. Just like he knew his did when he saw Rin

 

He wanted Rin back.

 

He wanted Rin to want him the way he wanted Rin.

 

And wasn’t that the most pathetic thing ever?

 

Yes, yes it was.

 

….

 

“Matsauka-senpai?” Rin looked up from his desk, pausing in the middle of an extremely boring sentence. Mikoshiba’s brother stood in the middle of the room, his eyes darting around and looking extremely awkward and nervous.

 

“Yo,” he said, shoving himself away from the desk. “What is it?”

 

Momotaro  played with the hem of his zipped up swim jacket as Sosuke closed the door and went back to his own desk, giving the allusion that he wasn’t paying attention, though Rin knew different.

 

“Um,” he began voice timid and quiet. “I was just wondering senpai…if you had spoken to Nitori-senpai?”

 

Rin cocked a brow at him, making a faint tsk sound. “No. Not recently,” he admitted. “No outside of practice. Why?” he asked, sending his studying a glance. He didn’t want to do it-he was silently praying for any reason to put it off-but  he knew he had to get it done. Even if most subjects came easy to him.

 

Momotaro hesitated. “I…” he paused and bit his lip, seeming to struggle with his words. “I just thought…you should check on him.”

 

Rin sat up a bit straighter. “Why? Is there something wrong with him?”

 

“Not physically,” Momo mumbled. “Well…he has a bit more tired lately.”

 

“Ai usually gets plenty of sleep.” Rin cut in, eyes narrowing.

 

Momo bit his lip and avoided his senpai’s eye once again as he mumbled, “Nitori-senpai is almost always already gone by the time the alarm wakes me up.” He cleared his throat and tried to meet Rin’s shark like gaze but found he couldn’t, so he spoke to the floor instead. “And emotionally…I don’t think he’s doing all too well either.”

 

Rin’s ruby eyes widened at that, he leaned forward in his chair, elbows resting on his knees as he tried to keep all the feelings he was feeling down. He didn’t want to get up and start stalking towards Momo because he wanted his answers. He knew from experience that never worked out in his favor.  He gave Momo a pointed look-more of a glare really-that had the first year scrambling a lot.

 

“I mean I um, never mind senpai-“he squeaked, shooting Sosuke a nervous glance. He gave Sosuke that same pointed look (glare) that had the taller male sighing dramatically and putting his headphones it, turning the volume up high enough that both Rin and Momo could hear it.  Rin rolled his eyes with a brief growl. He had wanted Sosuke to get the hint and just leave. But apparently, Sosuke had only gotten the hint and decided to stay instead. Jerk.

 

“Explain.” He said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms threatening. His face giving the impression of a very bored _Jaws._ Though his eyes resembled a hunter staring down its prey. The shark getting the little sea otter.

 

“Well,” Momo began again, shooting Sosuke another look. “Nitori-senpai has been crying a lot. I think he knows I know, but we don’t talk about it. And um, he’s very quiet and he seems very sad compared to his usual self.”

 

Rin raised a brow. “Eh.” He said, rolling his shoulders and working out the tension that had begun to build up. “You sure it isn’t a school thing?”

 

“Who cries themselves to sleep over school things?” Momo demanded, his hands raising high in the air, completely exasperated with his Captain. “Look senpai-I think you need to speak with him. He always listens to you.” Momo pouted a bit at that, as if sad his senpai didn’t give him that amount of attention.

 

 

Rin nodded at that, because it was true. Nitori hadn’t ever not done anything he had asked of him and had always put up with his shit. When it came to Rin Nitori never said _no a_ nd he had just very suddenly realized that he should have treasured that long ago.

 

“I guess.” He said, sounding nonchalant even as he fought the urge to throw Momo into Sosuke as he was standing in the middle of the quickest route to the doorway. “I have to finish this, and then maybe I’ll go see him.”

 

Momo nodded and started back tracking out of the room. He shot Sosuke one last glance that was parted with a small pink blush-which turned a fiery red when Sosuke raised his lazy blue eyes to glance at him. He squeaked and excused himself, nearly breaking their handle in his haste to escape.

 

Sosuke leaned back in his chair and pulled out his earphones, giving Rin a tired glance. “You gonna do something or not?”

 

Rin grumbled and tried to go back to his books, but of course he couldn’t, not when Sosuke wanted an answer out of him, he came over and just stood there above him until he was forced to look up, his eyes irritated.

 

“What?” he asked.

 

Sosuke picked up a light paperback, smacked him over the head with it with a neutral expression and pointed towards the door.  Rin grunted and reached up, knocking the book out of Sosuke’s hand before lazily getting to his feet and stretching himself out, making a show of putting on his swim jacket even though he was just going down the hall, and slipping on his shoes, he yawned dramatically at the door, which made Sosuke throw the paperback. But he moved quickly enough that the book smacked into the door as he was closing it, an inch away from his hand.

 

He walked down the hall, hands stuffed in his pockets and knocked on his old door. It sprung open and he resisted the urge to take a step back as a face nearly came in contact with his, stopping  an inch away, golden eyes, a wide grin and crazed orange hair took up most of his vision.

 

“SENPAI!” Momo trilled. “How nice of you to visit us completely randomly!” Very sharp kid. “Sadly, though, I have places to go, people to see, so hi-hoy I gotta go,” and then ran around the corner at the speed of light with no shoes on and in his pajamas.

 

He chucked the door closed behind him. Nitori was seated on his bed-his uh, his old bed-with a book in his lap and looking down at its black and white pages with dazed blue eyes that were red rimmed and face blotchy and slightly wet, like he hadn’t quite had enough time to completely wipe his face. Yet they were half dry, which told him they had most likely been wiped when Momo had come back into the room, not when he had.

 

“Ai,” he said gently,  (well as gently as he could get, it somewhat resembled the tone he used while speaking to Kou) he sat down on the bed. “What’s wrong?”

 

Nitori wiped at his eyes, not trying to hide it, especially when he knew Rin knew they were there. Rin always knew. “What makes you think something is wrong Senpai?” he said quietly, not looking up from his book.

 

Rin growled, leaning back against the wall so his long legs swung off the end of the bed, he glared when Ai retracted his body and pulled his legs up so he could settle his elbows on his knees, the book falling off of his lap as he did it. Rin pulled the book towards himfor a moment and flipped through it, noticing it as one of his own old books that he had given Nitori the day he had finished his first year had ended-hoping it would get him a head start a bit before second year started.

 

“You’re never like this Ai,” he said, his sharp teeth grinding together angrily. “You’re never sad like this, you never cry like this, and you most certainly don’t ignore me like this.”

 

“Who said I was crying?” Rin knew Ai was trying to sound sharp, maybe even intimidating, but his tone just came out sad with a little tremble in the end.

 

“Momotaro did.” He answered and Ai cursed softly under his breath, which also wasn’t normal, something really must have been eating at him.

 

“Who said I was sad?” Ai said, avoiding the topic of crying.

 

“Well,” Rin said, giving Ai a calm, neutral look that momentarily reminded him of Haruka-kun. “Most people don’t cry unless their sad, are you sad Ai?”

 

Ai opened his mouth for a moment, his eyes wide. A sharp, quick choking sound came up from the back of his throat before his opened mouth started trembling and his entire face grumbled, his hands fisting his pants and just wailing and sobbing loudly. He nodded frantically as he sobbed out a ‘yes’. Rin clambered up the bed and took a sobbing Ai into his arms, running his hands over his back and petting his hair.

 

He didn’t know how long they sat there, with Ai crying and Rin comforting him to the best of his abilities. All he knew was that comforting Ai was much harder than comforting a five year old Kou with scrapped knees and that his shirt was ruined beyond repair. But he didn’t mind. Not really. He just wished he wouldn’t have to see Ai cry anymore.

 

“Ai,” he said when the gray haired male had stopped hyperventilating. “Why are you sad?”

 

Ai sniffled and wiped at his tear stained red cheek. “B-because I miss yo-you s-s-s-Senpai.”

 

Rin frowned at that. “Ah? What?”

 

“I miss you,” Ai repeated, hiding his face in shame. “I miss sharing our room and going on our runs and swimming late together and you yelling at me to clean up, and-and,” Ai trailed off, biting his lip to stifle more sobs. “I just miss you, Senpai. Being with you all the time. And I just want….want to get your attention again. I was trying to do it threw swimming…but it didn’t seem to work,” his voice broke a bit at the end.

 

Rin patted his shoulder. “Your swimming has improved.” He assured him.

 

“Not enough for you to say anything about it.”  Ai said, he knew he sounded like a pouting child-but he certainly felt like one at the moment, so he didn’t care.

 

Rin sighed and wiped at a fresh tear. “Ai,” he said, in that same struggling gentle tone. “What’s _really_ wrong?”

 

Ai looked up at him, lip trembling. “I told you, Senpai. I miss you.”

 

Rin grumbled for a moment. “I miss you too.” He admitted, and instantly wished he hadn’t when Ai started crying all over them both again, Rin caught his chin and made him look up at him. “But there’s more. What else, Ai?”

 

Ai struggled for words, his mouth shaking and his face pinching, finally he let out a desperate sob and leaned up, catching Rin’s mouth in his, kissing his Captain hard, their teeth clanking together uncomfortably. Rin’s eyes widened when Ai’s soft but chapped and salty lips came in contact with his, his hand coming up to cup the back of his neck. Nitori tugged away and struggled for a moment, but stopped when he saw Rin’s soft and understanding look. He settled for a whimper.

 

“Me too, Ai.” Rin muttered. “I don’t know how to show it but…yeah, me too.” And kissed him again, much gentler and with no teeth contact.

 

Nitori would still be lonely, no doubt, but at least Rin could kiss him when he was.


End file.
